Valentine's Day For Lovers

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Be Her Romantic Leading Man on Valentine’s Day
By Jim DeBellis

You have to be thoughtful on her birthday and Christmas… but on Valentine’s Day, you have to be romantic. It’s non-negotiable. And it’s not that hard if you come prepared with a quiver full of Cupid’s arrows to hit her with in a sneak attack throughout the night. Each shot will drive her passion higher, until it reaches a frenzy. Just like baseball, you have to run the bases if you want to score, so let’s play ball.

You are going to need the basics: flowers, dinner, a gift, and a special place for a romantic encounter. But it’s the way you deliver them that really matters. You have to thrill and amaze her. The essence of romance lies in the element of surprise, and not just checking the mandatory boxes. If you don’t make her jaw drop and her eyes get as big as a full moon at least once, you’ve haven’t made it to first base. But if you want her to be filled with passion and ripping off her clothes (and yours) when the date is over, you will need to hit it out of the park and run all the bases. That requires at least four “wow” moments during the date. She’ll have stars in her eyes and be in the palm of your hand for a week.

Surprise her right out of the gate by telling her to wear a nice dress, and that you will be wearing some nice duds too. Even if she’s Daisy Duke, she wants to play dress-up and feel like a princess once a year. So, let it be your idea. Just don’t go overboard or she’ll think you’ll be getting down on one knee.

If you haven’t made reservations yet, do it right now. Valentine’s Day is the busiest night of the year for restaurants, and they fill up fast and early (and this year it’s on a Saturday, so good luck). Many places don’t take reservations, so it is likely to be a long wait no matter when you arrive. If you decide to go that route, make sure you choose a place with a nice bar and some good music or games to keep her occupied and in a good mood for a couple of hours. And, if you get shut out of all the restaurants she loves, you can always get a hotel room at a nice place that offers room service. Just confirm ahead of time that they will be able to serve you in your room, and arrange for them to bring a nice table for two with a white tablecloth and some wine or champagne.

Instead of giving her a fancy bouquet when you pick her up or leave the house together, give her a single rose or a handful of colorful wildflowers, or maybe give her a corsage for her dress or wrist. Tell her she looks beautiful, and kiss her. (By the way, you will be doing that about every 15 to 30 minutes tonight.) Now it’s time for a surprise arrow in the heart. Tell her that you could only get into the Olive Garden because every place else was full, and then drive up to Chez André’s white tablecloth bistro, which she’s been dreaming about for months. You’ve made it to first base; collect one kiss when you let her out of the car.

When you have ordered your appetizers, have it pre-arranged for the waiter to bring out a vase of her favorite flowers and present them to her at the table, with a hand-written card from you. Work on the letter inside the card, and make it a keepsake that she will save and cherish. That will make her feel special, and you will have scored your second jaw-dropping moment. She will be feeling a tingle beneath her bra by now. But you’re not done yet.

This is a night for wine, not beer. A bottle of wine or champagne will intensify her warm feelings just enough. Sharing one standard bottle or two glasses of house wine each in the course of a nice dinner won’t hamper your ability to drive legally either. You might get an extra half glass for yourself with a bottle if you don’t overfill the glasses (about two-thirds full is perfect for wine). Do a little research or ask your friends about selecting a good wine beforehand so you don’t have to hem and haw over the wine list and then make a bad guess. White wine or a rosé or blush are good choices for non-connoisseurs, and they are palatable for most tastes. White Zinfandel or Pinot Grigio is usually reliable, and so are the house wines by the glass. Don’t worry about matching red wine with a beef entrée.

Back to the ballgame, even if she’s full, order dessert. Split one for the two of you. It’s a nice opportunity to let the meal settle and talk…and it’s a great time for another surprise. Before your dessert arrives, pull a small but nice gift (wrapped) out of your inside suit pocket. Jewelry is perfect, and so is a pair of tickets to a show or concert that she would love – and you will score extra points if the show gives you a chance to share her passion for the arts for one night in the future. An MMA event, ballgame, or monster truck show might not garner the same appreciation from her. Her tingles have now made their way to her panties. [One warning: Make sure the small gift does NOT come in anything resembling a ring box – unless it’s a ring…a diamond one. It will kill all the tingles and send you back to square one.]

Now, if you have deep pockets, you might have a limo or a horse drawn carriage waiting for her after dinner. That might be great if you did give her a ring; otherwise it will be hard to top next year. But dinner alone is not a date. Maybe you can surprise her with a short visit to a club, where your friend who is dating her friend, is having drinks. Stop in and let her share her big night with her friend while you get in 20 minutes of “guy time” or a game of darts.

Of course, a nice walk under a full moon is always romantic in the evening…but there’s just one problem: There will be no moon at all on February 14 this year. Just knowing that will score you some points, but a moonless night is very dark and great for something else… stargazing. Get out of the city lights far enough to a lake or park and let her be amazed by all the stars. Study up and learn two or three constellations that you can point out. If you’re in a warmer climate you can go outside or lay in the back of your SUV and open the hatchback. Otherwise, you can open your moon roof and turn the heat up full blast. Either way, you’ll be making plenty of your own heat in no time.

Maybe stargazing isn’t going to work out for you, so just try to find a place where you haven’t kissed her before. That will make it a memorable time and place for her at the end of a great evening. Take her dancing after dinner, and then hold her face in your hands and kiss her on the dance floor during a slow dance. A hotel room could be another great surprise, with a box of chocolates waiting on her pillow. A midnight movie in the back row might be a good place for some preliminary passion too.

You can scale all of these things to the stage of your relationship and your budget, as long as you amaze her and make her feel special and cared for. Take an hour to plan things ahead of time, and then take another hour to set the dominoes in place so that your vision, and her whirlwind of a night, is executed smoothly.

Chances are, you will spend a memorable night together behind closed doors when the date is done – and you should find a way to make that special too… some perfect music, candlelight, a glass of wine, rose petals, a hot tub, and another gift that fits the occasion (like lingerie or candy panties or body oils or whipped cream or a pack of Fire and Ice condoms). Whatever resources you have available to you will be just fine.

And when she wakes up the next morning, make sure she doesn’t think it was all a dream. Shoot one more of Cupid’s arrows at her with a nice Sunday brunch or breakfast in bed. It just takes a little planning once a year to make her see you as a hero all year long. Base hits are nice, but there’s nothing like a home run.